So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
