Whod you bang
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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