I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Randomize
