then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
