it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
