You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
