You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Green mimosas i think yes
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
