i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
