I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
