I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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