My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
