Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize