Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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