i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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