marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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