i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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