No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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