Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
