Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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