Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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