the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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