is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm always down for nudity.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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