I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
nutella sex= disaster
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
