It's Friday. Sex?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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