We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I met the friendliest cop last night
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
