Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
