K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize