Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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