It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
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my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
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So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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