mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
