party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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