I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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