You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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