I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
