who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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