Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
