I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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