would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
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So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
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Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came