she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.