i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
