Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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