haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
