12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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