Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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