I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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