the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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