WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
