He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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