Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think i have two assholes
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
