He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize