very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
