her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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