McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
