Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
