Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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  (310): I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless. http://tfl.nu/yhaf
  Replies (7) Good night (846) Bad night (2444)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again

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  (215): I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again http://tfl.nu/3rrj
  Replies (7) Good night (1253) Bad night (3112)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

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  (443): hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"? http://tfl.nu/cmo1
  Replies (23) Good night (1436) Bad night (5631)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension

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  (303): friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension http://tfl.nu/bl0j
  Replies (46) Good night (1855) Bad night (5323)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard

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  (317): i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard http://tfl.nu/sbl9
  Replies (10) Good night (1185) Bad night (3333)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1347) Bad night (1441)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team

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  (513): hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team http://tfl.nu/e17f
  Replies (8) Good night (3275) Bad night (713)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.

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  (587): Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is. http://tfl.nu/4v3e
  Replies (3) Good night (1689) Bad night (775)
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  (718): View more from New York

  She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.

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  (718): She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love. http://tfl.nu/h785
  Replies (9) Good night (1625) Bad night (763)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble

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  (301): And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble http://tfl.nu/0x8g
  Replies (7) Good night (2451) Bad night (645)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.

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  (614): I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia. http://tfl.nu/a7rk
  Replies (5) Good night (584) Bad night (967)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few

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  (617): I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few http://tfl.nu/zw2s
  Replies (8) Good night (1037) Bad night (2100)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.

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  (920): He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week. http://tfl.nu/0wxx
  Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (330)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.

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  (+44): I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning. http://tfl.nu/asao
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (296)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future

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  (479): New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future http://tfl.nu/6z7r
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (232)

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