So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
