Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out! http://tfl.nu/knp1
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness. http://tfl.nu/v4md
  Replies (17) Good night (796) Bad night (3105)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects. http://tfl.nu/678l
  Replies (15) Good night (743) Bad night (2957)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this? http://tfl.nu/za6z
  Replies (18) Good night (6050) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups. http://tfl.nu/guyb
  Replies (7) Good night (3793) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  there were a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld
  Replies (29) Good night (6494) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room http://tfl.nu/yi7m
  Replies (13) Good night (1402) Bad night (3828)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated. http://tfl.nu/4d8a
  Replies (6) Good night (2499) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories http://tfl.nu/hpss
  Replies (5) Good night (1957) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution? http://tfl.nu/1mlt
  Replies (57) Good night (890) Bad night (2368)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up http://tfl.nu/9j2f
  Replies (5) Good night (742) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!! http://tfl.nu/q83i
  Replies (3) Good night (1159) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on. http://tfl.nu/xowf
  Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street http://tfl.nu/mxrn
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties. http://tfl.nu/yjtl
  Replies (8) Good night (433) Bad night (628)

Randomize