you guys were way drunker than both of me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
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I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.