Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
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Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic