What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
they need to just BURY HIM!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I think I just sharted jello shots
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
