I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
