The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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