I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
