Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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