We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
