I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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