Whod you bang
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
please don't ironically join a cult
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